It is that time of year! As students return to school they hear “now is the time” to set new goals and “take advantage of the clean slate”. For students, it is the opportunity to return from a well earned vacation with a desire and drive to raise the bar and to achieve. As parents, educators, and coaches we assume setting goals is a new beginning that will come as a relief and inspiration to many young people. We know students/clients can do this, but, more often than not, they become paralyzed with the sheer thought of setting and achieving a goal. How do we combat this? It is our job as parents, teachers, and coaches to guide youth through goal setting and set the stage for a successful outcome.
Setting the smallest goals can be overwhelming. Create the stepping stones for your students to build and learn as they continue achievement. Goals do not have to be grand. Goals can range from keeping one's room clean to completing their thesis. The smallest task can be overwhelming, but with a manageable plan and good support, achievement is attainable.
Use these guidelines below in conversations with students.
Establish the “why” - through non judgemental questions, help your student arrive at why their goal is important to them. Ask them how it will feel if all goes right and they are successful. Often students are caught up in “what if it goes wrong”. Try to flip the phrase by asking them “what if it goes right?” What will it take to cross that finish line? Make sure it is a goal they are fully invested in.
Small actionable steps are key - write down the smallest, most specific steps needed to slowly chip away at achievement. Write them down clearly on a piece of paper. Make sure to include in the conversation the how, when, and where these steps will take place. Establish a detailed timeline to success.
Do the hard work - working on goals takes hard work and is not always fun or glamorous. We forget this when we set our goals because we envision the final product. While the final product is the motivator, advise the student to keep their focus, work through the repetition, and remember the mundane, monotonous moments are part of the process. Know that in the end it will all be worth it.
How will it feel? - with each step completed, the foundation is strengthened and the individual is starting to develop a habit. Spend time reflecting on what has worked well and what has not. How can you tweak your next steps to be more effective?
Enjoy the glory - take time to think about how it feels. What does it feel like to gain confidence and control? How does this help stretch to the next step?
Cross the finish line - they accomplished the goal and now need to have a plan to continue the momentum. Maintain the hard work with intentional direction. Discuss how satisfying the small achievements feel. With each success, skills develop and become stronger, like a muscle. This is how the motivation grows.
Keep the scaffolding in place - when supporting a building, a contractor takes their time removing scaffolding until they know with certainty the structure is sound. This is the same for your student, keep the support in place as long as necessary. Continue to work together as they adapt to their new skill set and make it a habit.
Make 2025 the best yet by achieving your goals.
Whitney Ryan
Owner of Clearview Life Coaching and Consulting
@clearview.lifecoaching
This is so great Whit! Every small step forward is a success - just start! Can't make it to the top of the mountain without each individual step!
Such important, effective and clear steps!