Let Them Lead
Give children the opportunity to lead. This is a vital part of education and how we teach students to make a difference. When we remove responsibility from students, we rob them of the chance to stretch themselves and develop confidence.
It is often perceived that the greatest potential leaders are those who are most popular, sportiest, smartest, extroverts, or any students who easily capture a group's attention. Students who are less confident shy away. It is our job to tap into each individual's strengths and direct them in a way that helps them to gain confidence. They gain the ability to use their voice and make a difference in their communities.
Lack of Confidence - Fear of Failure
Lack of confidence and fear of failure keeps too many middle school students timid. The risk of failure overshadows the prospect of success. As educators, we know that there are leadership skills within everyone and they can be exercised at different times and in different ways. Focusing on the fear of failure and how we combat failure is an important conversation. Leadership is a skill, much like a muscle, that needs to be developed over time. As educators, we can facilitate this practice through discussion, role play and facilitating the small steps to take in order to lead. It is imperative we do not pass by a student. We must take the time to provide them support.
The Risk
What will my friends think? Will I isolate myself? The risk is too great. I don’t want to fail or feel embarrassed and rejected by my peers. If I succeed, I will need to sustain that success and that is too intimidating. These thoughts rush through our student’s minds, preventing them from taking the essential leap.
We must coach young teens to take risks. We do this by asking powerful questions, listening to them with intent and helping with goal setting. Failure is part of the risk. It is ok to fail; this is how we grow. It is healthy and essential to develop resilience in order to foster growth. We are helping lay the foundation of a skill that they will use for years to come.
What happens if it all goes right?
Use this mantra with your students when talking about leading and taking risks. Maintain an ethos, like “What if it all goes right?”, throughout the conversation. A great example is when a young person says, “It will never work, I will do a horrible job, I am not a leader.” When they get caught in the cycle of negative thoughts it is our job to jump in and ask them “But what if it goes right?” This small mindset tweak will make a huge difference. These six words can become a secret weapon for students when they are considering taking a chance.
Trust them
The bottom line is we must trust them and let youth lead. Give them an opportunity. Be their champion no matter the outcome. It takes patience and effort to not intervene, but it is essential. Asking non judgemental questions will open the doors for a student to identify their leadership style.
What do you want?
What would you like to see happen?
What is standing in your way?
What do you need to do to get there?
What would it look like?
What would it feel like?
Next Time
Next time you are working with young people and fostering their leadership development, take a back seat. Ask powerful, non judgemental questions that will get them thinking. Let their actions come from within. Be the mentor that Empowers them to Act and ultimately Thrive. This will only help them grow into independent thinkers and doers.
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